Lighthouse Parenting: A Trusted and Reliable Approach to Parenting

Lighthouse parenting is a trusted and reliable approach to parenting that can build strong relationships in your family and help you raise children, tweens, and teens prepared to thrive.

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New approaches to parenting named after various animals, farm implements, or
recreational vehicles seem to come in and out of style with the season. While these
parenting approaches grab attention and earn social media clicks, they confuse parents
trying to raise their children. These strategies rarely present the full picture of what
works, and too often are created out of fear or in reaction to each other. One style tries
to clear all obstacles for a child or demands perfection so the next suggests parents
should get out of the way. Decades of research in developmental science and long-
term cultural experience (and common sense!) tell us what works: balance.

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Good news! Lighthouse Parenting is not a new approach to parenting. It is the action
plan to apply “balanced-parenting, 1 ” an approach known to strengthen families and offer
meaningful benefits for children and teens. Balanced parents express both how much
we care about our children and how committed we are to keeping them safe. Even as
we set rules, our children know that they come from a place of love.

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Balanced parenting is generally referred to as “authoritative parenting” in research studies.

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So why do we even need another metaphor like Lighthouse Parenting? A
lighthouse offers an image that reminds us about the key elements of effective
parenting.

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I choose to be a Lighthouse parent. A stable force on the shoreline from which
my child can measure themself against. I’ll send my signals in a way they will
choose to trust. I’ll look down at the rocks to be sure they don’t crash against
them. I’ll look into the waves and trust they’ll learn to ride them, but I am
committed to prepare them to do so. I’ll remain a source of light they can seek
whenever they need a safe and secure return.

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Research over decades have proven that children raised with an eye towards both
protection and preparation and who know both that they are loved and that their parents
are committed to their safety have the best emotional, behavioral, and academic
outcomes. This approach, however, doesn’t live in the laboratories. It is consistent
with longstanding cultural practices. If you could ask your great-grandmother the secret
to parenting, she’d likely say “Children have to know that they are loved and that their
parents care enough about them to keep them safe.” Lighthouse parenting builds on
these common sense and scientifically proven principles and offers guidance on how to
APPLY them in your real lives.

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Lighthouse Parenting Will Be Useful Now and for Years to Come

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Another reason Lighthouse Parenting is not a trend is that it will be useful to you
now, at every stage of your child’s development, and will plant the seeds of your
relationship with your adult-child in decades to come. Your younger child needs your
focus to be on protecting them. Your adolescent needs you to prepare them to make
their own decisions while remaining clear about areas they still need protection and
would benefit from guidance. Your child at every age (including adulthood!) will value
your stability as an ever-present guide in their life. They’ll seek your presence when
you remain a positive light reminding them of their potential.

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Lighthouse Parenting is a strategy about “Raising Your Child with Loving
Guidance for a Lifelong Bond.”

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This piece is adapted from Lighthouse Parenting: Raising Your Child with Loving guidance for a Lifelong Bond by Dr. Ken Ginsburg.

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