Why Lighthouse Parenting is Essential to Raising Teens

Lighthouse Parenting guides us how to balance our expressed love with clear expectations and firm guidelines that protect our children. 

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I choose to be a lighthouse parent. A stable force on the shoreline from which my child can measure themself against. I'll send my signals in a way they will choose to trust. I'll look down at the rocks to be sure they don't crash against them. I'll look into the waves and trust they'll learn to ride them, but I'm committed to prepare them to do so. I'll remain a source of light they can seek whenever they need a safe and secure return

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Lighthouse Parenting is rooted in balanced parenting, which has been shown to lead to proven positive outcomes for adolescents.  Briefly, parents who follow balanced parenting strategies raise tweens and teens who achieve greater academic success, engage in fewer behavioral risks, possess a higher level of emotional well-being, and have reduced emotional distress.  

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Adolescents raised with a balanced parenting style (AKA Lighthouse Parenting) have been shown to have:

• Better self-esteem
• Higher levels of resilience
• Better emotional and mental health, including reduced depression and anxiety
• Improved grades and better engagement with teachers 
• Increased participation in after-school and extracurricular activities
• Less experience being bullied or bullying others
• Less exposure to violence
• Safer driving behaviors and fewer car crashes
• Less substance use
• Later start of sexual activity and safer sexual behaviors

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These meaningful outcomes are likely tied to the fact that families that use a balanced approach to parenting also have the closest, warmest, and most communicative relationships.   Therefore, balanced (Lighthouse) parents also know more about what is going on in their children’s lives and therefore can monitor them more closely.  

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Critically for adolescents:  Tweens and teens will be less likely to resent rules or boundaries if they know that they are meant to keep them safe and are rooted in how much their parents care about them.  They’ll see their parents as guides rather than as people trying to control or limit them.  Adolescents push away over-controlling parents. They are more likely to understand Lighthouse parents are guiding them to safely become independent.   Therefore, they may choose to develop strong, interdependent, mutually reliant relationships with their parents over their lifetime.  

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 For more information on Lighthouse Parenting, visit lighthouseparenting.com

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This piece is adapted from Congrats You’re having a Teen! Strengthen Your Family and Raise a Good person by Dr. Ken Ginsburg.

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