All of these ideas can lower stress without doing any harm. None are quick fixes, but they will lead you toward a healthy and successful life. The plan is divided into 4 parts.
When you read over the plan, you’ll notice that you can come up with a bunch of ideas for each point. PLEASE don’t think you should try them all. This plan is supposed to help you reduce stress, not give you more. Try out some ideas, then stick to one or two ideas for each point.
You might notice that this plan is almost like building a college or work résumé. This is the sane way to build a résumé; you are doing it to manage your life and remain happy and prepared for success, not to cram in activities to impress someone else. It will ensure you’re healthy and balanced, and that’s very attractive to colleges and employers.
Point 1: Identify and Then Address the Problem.
First decide if a problem is a real tiger or just feels like one. If it can’t hurt you chances are that it can be better handled with clear thinking. This means turning off those thoughts that make you interpret the situation as a disaster.
Three ideas can help you manage a lot of work:
Fights with parents and friends don’t go away unless you deal with what upset you in the first place, or unless everyone apologizes and decides to forgive each other.
Point 2: Avoid stress when possible.
Sometimes we know exactly when we are headed for trouble. Avoiding trouble from a distance is easier than dealing with it up close. You know the people who might be a bad influence on you, the places where you’re likely to get in trouble, and the things that upset you. Choose not to be around those people, places, and things that mess you up.
Point 3: Let some things go.
It’s important to try to fix problems, but sometimes there is nothing you can do to change a problem. For example, you can’t change the weather, so don’t waste your energy worrying about it. You can’t change the fact that teachers give tests, so just study instead of complaining about how unfair they are. You can’t change the fact that your parents need to know where you go, so prove that you’re responsible and deserve more freedoms. People who waste their energy worrying about things they can’t change don’t have enough energy left over to fix the things they can. Also learn when not to take things personally. You feel badly for no reason when you take something personally that really has little to do with you.
Point 4: The Power of Exercise.
Exercise is the most important part of a plan to manage stress. When you are stressed, your body is saying, “Run!” So do it. Exercise every day to control stress and build a strong, healthy body. You may think you don’t have time to exercise when you are most stressed, but that is exactly when you need it the most. If you are stressed about an assignment, but too nervous to sit down and study—exercise! You will be able to think better after you have used up those stress hormones. Some people exercise before school because they can focus and learn better.
Point 5: Active Relaxation.
You can flip the switch from being stressed to relaxed if you know how to fool your body. Because your body can only use the relaxed or emergency nervous system at any one time, you can turn on the relaxed system. You do this by doing the opposite of what your body does when it is stressed. Here are 2 ideas.
Point 6: Eat well.
Everyone knows good nutrition makes you healthier. Only some people realize that it also keeps you alert through the day and your mood steady. People who eat mostly junk food have highs and lows in their energy level, which harms their ability to reduce stress. Instead of eating greasy or sugary foods, eat more fruits, vegetables, and whole grains—they keep you focused for a longer time. Go to www.mypyramid.gov to learn more.
Point 7: Sleep well.
Most kids don’t get the sleep they need to grow and think clearly. Tired people can’t learn as well and can be impatient and irritable. Here are some ideas to improve your sleep.
Point 8: Take instant vacations.
Sometimes the best way to de-stress is to take your mind away to a more relaxing place.
Point 9: Release emotional tension.
Sometimes feelings become so overwhelming that we cram them all away in an imaginary box and think we’ll deal with them later. But later, there’s so much stuff in the box that there is too much to deal with. This can make your head feel as if it is spinning. Sometimes you get angry or frustrated without even knowing why. You just know there is too much stuff going on in your head. It's good to pick just one problem to work on and forget the rest for the moment. When we decide to deal with only one problem at a time, it’s much less scary to open the box.
Here are some ideas to release your thoughts or worries one at a time.
Point 10: Contribute.
Young people who work to make the world better have a sense of purpose, feel good about themselves, and handle their own problems better. It’s important to understand that you really can make a difference in other people’s lives. The role of teenagers is to recognize the mistakes adults have made and build a better world.
From Ginsburg KR, Jablow MM. Building Resilience in Children and Teens: Giving Kids Roots and Wings. 2nd ed. Elk Grove Village, IL: American Academy of Pediatrics; 2011
Please feel free to copy this handout or download from www.fosteringresilience.com or the American Academy of Pediatrics Web site for parents, www.HealthyChildren.org.